dragged

I've recently signed a 40hs contract and I'm about to start into a new journey. I yet don't recognize how this new routine is gonna be like, but I understand the implications of it. I'm counting on saving more money with this and hopefully manage to get a nicer place to live, with more financial freedom. So far, so good, han? Well, not really.

I feel this 40hs, spread all over my weeks; go bit by bit pulling me apart from myself. I don't really want to go into the concept of 'self'' right now, but what I mean is that it pulls my self apart... I inevitably start to live the dream and not dream the dream - if you know what I mean.

I feel my mind during my hours of work to function in a different way. The mind is awake, quick and focused like most of the time but the frequency is somehow 'lower'. Maybe because of my surroundings, and the people that create this surroundings, are definetly not awaken... or enlightened, or self-aware, or conscious - but rather self-dependent, self-addicted, shallow, fake, conspiring, and so on and so forth...

Anyways, the point is the more my mind is exposed to it the more it is tested. I understand when I'm going through some hard moment, WHILE I'm in that moment I realize it and rely on my mental abilities to really go through it without affecting my humor, or my language, or even the work I am doing at that moment.

I am externalizing this thoughts so I can make them more real to me, nice of you to read. ;D